Goodbyes

Hunter and Kayla
Kayla, Hunter, and Ella


Tonight we said goodbye to our neighbors and friends of 4 years. They are moving - far, far away, and we are sad. It's surprised me a little how much each one of us is feeling this. I walked over there after we'd put the kids down tonight, took one look at my neighbor, Philana, and we both got teary. After we said our goodbyes, I couldn't help the tears that fell on the sidewalk from their house to ours.

Hunter and Kayla are in the same grade at school and have been fast friends since they met at age 3. Kayla and Ella are also very close and can get each other giggling like only little girls can. Kayla's little sister is a year older than Piper, and is full of life. Both of them are just good kids, with good parents. I could on and on about all that we've shared with them over the years. We know stuff about each other. We've helped each other out. When our kids are driving us crazy, we pick up the phone and invite the other one over. It is such a blessing to have a neighbor like that. I am already feeling their absence.

Today we picked Kayla up from school and got to have her over one last time. The kids had made her cards and had gotten she and Brianna a little present. As they sat down for a snack, Hunter said he'd like to say a prayer. He spoke a blessing over sweet Kayla that I will never forget, and then asked God to comfort us, as we got used to missing them. That 7 year old prayer was one of the most honest, pure prayers I think I've ever heard. And, yes, I cried.

I am glad that we invest our lives into the lives of others, but man, it hurts when you have to say goodbye. I'm resisting the temptation to go find Michael W. Smith's "Friends are Friends Forever" and wallow in self pity, as I belt out - "Though it's hard to let you go, in the Father's hands we know, that a lifetime's not too long...to live as friends"!

So, I got home from our neighbors house and came inside to see the latest news out of China. Wow. Enormous loss. Some have lost their home, parents, spouse, and child - all in a moment's time. We did hear that Piper's hometown is fine, as well as her orphanage. But there are several orphanages that have not been heard from at all.

Loss is an inevitable part of life, and I want our kids to learn how to walk through loss well, not run from it...or get stuck in it. The funny thing about parenting, is the only way to teach them is to show them.

Tomorrow we will bake some brownies and be ready to meet and welcome our new neighbors...

John Piper: "I am not coming to you with a health, wealth, and prosperity gospel or a health, wealth and prosperity mission. I am not bringing a message that Christ will make you healthy, Christ will make you wealthy, Christ will make you prosperous in this life so that you can have joy. That's not my message. I am bringing you the message that Christ will give you HIMSELF, so that you don't need health, wealth, and prosperity in order to be happy, but can have so much invincible joy in Christ that you can give up health, wealth, and prosperity in the sacrifice of love if God so calls."

Paul: "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that might not rely on ourselves but on God."

One of the reasons I am so grateful to God for John Piper is that he, unlike anyone else, has helped me to see how joy and suffering and pain can possibly coexist. It is a concept that I struggled with for a long time as I would read the bible. When I would hear someone say how "blessed" they were with their big house, nice car, and healthy family, something inside of me cringed. Is that what it means to be "blessed" by God? If so, what about the babies laying in their cribs, some in deplorable conditions, in the orphanage? What about Paul, what about Jesus? No, Jesus came, and turned the world's idea of "blessed" upside down. In Matthew 5 He says:

3"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

How are those who mourn blessed? Because they will be comforted- by God Himself. In my own experience I can say that it is better to mourn and be comforted by God, than to not mourn at all. As J. Piper says, " The Lord is the Reward". It's His presence in the most difficult of places that brings joy, and develops perseverance and hope.

So this Christmas, I am more thankful than ever that God broke through time, and gave us Himself... His very presence...God With Us, Immanuel - now that is a blessing!

Look! Free Parenting Advice!

My brother and his wife, Karen, have 4 kids (6 to 13), and are really great parents. I love that they go through all of the phases first, so we can watch and learn. Yesterday, as we waited for my mom's doctor appointment, David told me about a new thing they are trying with their kids that I thought was worth sharing. They have been really frustrated with their kids leaving shoes and stuff all over the house. He gave each child 20 one dollar bills, then set up a large glass jar in the family room. Any time they leave their stuff around, they say "Please put your shoes in your closet, then put a dollar in the jar." He plans to use the money to take Karen out to eat. The logic behind the idea is that the kids should feel the pain, not the parents. He also told me about a man in their church who was a child psychologist I believe, and someone that was very respected, who taught 3 simple rules of disciplining your children:

1. Use few words
2. Show little emotion in disciplining
3. Be consistent - even when it doesn't appear to be working, stay with it. Expect it not to work for a while. Kids will make more mistakes, but what they need is consistency.

Today I've been thinking how we could implement the money in the jar with our kids. Our main issues right now involve whining. Of course my first thought is where I can find an attractive glass jar. First things first!

The Great Adventure

If you only read one thing today, make it this, by my friend Beth.

Here's a little taste:


"But isn’t He brilliant? Would we really have wanted a God we could figure out? Or wouldn’t that have made us His God instead? Isn’t the unknown the very thing that keeps this life an adventure? Some of our destructive lusts for the strange and new in human relationships (inability to commit; addiction to romance novels or steamy TV series; continual fantasies about someone different; or maybe more than fantasies) erupt from unknowingly trading in a holy adventure with God for a feel-better-few-minutes with man (real or imagined) that only ends up feeding our dissatisfaction. The result is even deeper despair that pounds with every beat of our injured heart, “Is this all there is?” The answer is a resounding, “NO!” The innate human desire for something new isn’t what’s unhealthy. The need for adventure was sewn within our souls by divine hands so that deep would call out to deep and we’d drive our insatiable selves straight to the One and Only God who can sustain it. His mercies are new every morning and treasures are inexhaustible every day."

Today, I am thankful for Jenny Bowen and Half the Sky

I think a lot about not wasting my life.

This morning I had an email from Jenny Bowen of Half the Sky, saying that she has been selected as one of eight foreigners to carry the Olympic torch in the Beijing Olympics next summer.

Go here, and see Jenny Bowen and her girls. She is 62 years old, has 2 Chinese daughters that she and her husband adopted in their fifties. Not long after they adopted their 1st daughter they started an amazing organization that is now making a real difference in the lives of China's orphans. Watch the short video to see some of the children her organization is showing love to. When I watch, I can't help but see Piper's face in the faces of those children.

I thought this page was interesting, showing all who applied and the 8 winners.

Jenny Bowen inspires me that a mom with a heart for these little ones can make a difference.

"If anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."
-Jesus (Matthew 10:42)

Here's the thing about dark wood floors....

They are dark.

I have wanted dark wood floors for as long as I can remember. I have coveted them in my heart. I have spent countless hours staring at magazine pictures of them.

Now, I have them.

Not super expensive ones, but they are wood and they are dark, and they are mine.

So you would think I would be in dark wood floor bliss right about now. You would think.

This is why I am so terribly frustrated with myself. I do think they look better than the cheap, stained carpet that was there a week ago. But....but they are very dark, and they show every little bit of dust. The same dust that the cheap, stained carpet just took on as it's own and absorbed.

This has been a big lesson for me (I hate learning lessons the dusty, expensive way). Those pictures I drooled over were a mirage. They do not show the people who have "people" who clean those floors. I am the only "people" this family has that would do something like dust 1.000 sq ft of dark wood flooring.

Now, I think the couch looks too dark. I've spent the last few days staring at it, with my head cocked to the side, squinting, trying to convince myself that it looks good.

The funny thing is, I was quite content with my house before we got the much coveted wood floors. Can you see why I am so frustrated with myself? Contentment is a fragile thing. And when you base it on something like wood floors, it's beyond fragile.

Well, I've got to go dust now.

Be careful what you wish for...

(I have pictures, but blogger is not letting me post them for some reason. I'll try again later, after I dust of course.)

Oh, and Piper's eye is getting better. Today she just looks like she is continuously winking at you.