When did God think of adoption?

Xiushan Orphanage, China

Oh, I love me some John Piper. Listen to him explain adoption. Love his passion. Love his little encouragement at the end. I really needed this today, as it reminded me to keep praying and stay open to how I can encourage others in adoption. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the number of orphans, by all of the injustices and red tape that stand in the way of children having parents. I also need the reminder about my own adoption - and what a huge thing that is.

A couple of weeks ago I read along as several bloggers I read went to Africa with Compassion International. As they prepared to come home they were brought together to discuss what it was going to be like when they returned home to their comfortable suburban lives. They called it "re-entry" and said it could be a difficult time. One blogger mentioned having survivor's guilt at the stark contrast b/t her life and the lives she encountered in Uganda.

Something happened as I read their accounts. I realized that for the past year, since we came home from adopting Piper, I have been struggling through some sort of "survivor's guilt", for lack of a better word. I just have had such a difficult time thinking about the difference b/t Piper's life and the lives of the children that still reside at Xiushan Orphanage. Just writing that, the tears are rolling. I can't put into words how much I love Piper Grace. Just like any proud mama, I think she is one of God's most beautiful creations. But then I think about those other children, they are God's creations as well, and now that I can really see them, and feel a kinship with them...it's just hard to accept. They deserve to have a family that celebrates with them as they take their first step, or learn to say their own name. They deserve a mommy who will comfort them when they are sick and tell them they are the most wonderful baby in the world. Don't they?

Anyway, these thoughts feel very incomplete still. I don't really know what to do with these feelings, besides offer them up, and remember that God is in control, in the good and in the bad, that I know. My job is to pray, and stay close to Him and listen when He speaks.

"Be open to the possibilities - of God's promises to grow good things in hard places. Be open to the possiblilites that these circumstances hold more than what I see right now. Be open to the possiblilites of discovering new hope. Be open to the posiblilities...one day at a time." Carol Kuykendall (thank you to my mother in law for that quote, I love it...)