What's wrong with you, do have ants in your pants or something?

Why yes I do, thankyouverymuch.

It's only 10 am and already I've hit an all time low in parenting. I know I've blocked out some really bad ones from my conscious mind, but this one is definitely in the top 3.

This day really started last night when Piper decided she didn't like having shots after all. Lots of fussy whining and needing me to hold her all evening long. Thankfully, she did go sleep about 9 after a day of no naps. NO NAPS, I meant to say.

For the last couple of days Piper has been trying to escape from her crib, and in the process keeps getting her chubby little thigh stuck b/t the rails. By stuck, I mean STUCK. She has a special cry she uses for the occasion that I have come to recognize after about 20 repeat performances. She is so gracious to give me so many chances to learn it.

I had just stumbled to the coffee pot at about 6 am this morning when I heard 'that cry'. Sure enough, same ol same ol. Big tears, panic, thigh completely STUCK. At one point I thought about having Ella try to find some Crisco in the pantry. I knew I had some from the last time my mom in law was here. I think she was in shock that I didn't keep any in my pantry and went and bought some at the store. The crib rails finally released their death grip and the day started!

I picked Piper up to find that she was burning hot - almost 103 degrees hot. Darn shots. Motrin and some lovin took care of her fever, but she stayed glued to me and wasn't letting go for nothing, no way, no how, not all day.

At one point I attempted to put her down for a nap. Withing minutes of putting her down, I heard 'that cry'. I walked in to find her sitting on the top of the crib rails just about to go completely over. I literally caught her in the air.

In that moment, I knew things had changed and we weren't going back. At 16 months she can climb out of her crib. Had I not walked in when I did, she could have really been hurt. I took her downstairs and as I did, I felt a strange, unpleasant feeling...on my bum, as Ella would say. I believe something just bit me! I'll spare you the details, but yes, I did have an ant in my panties - and it bit me 3 times.

This was just not my day.

I think I know where the ant came from and it's deeply disturbing to me that I believe the ant was there for at least 10 minutes - you can squirm and say "oh yuuuuuck" now. I had been sitting on the floor with Piper when Ella noticed a line of ants right next to where we were. Little did I know, but one of them was marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah, right into my underwear, hurrah, hurrah.

So what to do about Piper Grace and her sleeping arrangements? That will have to wait for another post. I've already bored myself to sleep with all of this. I wish I could give a treat (once a 2nd grade teacher, always a 2nd grade teacher) to each person who actually makes it to the end of posts like this one. All one of you, thanks dad!